Confusion..

Was that confusion is normal. I tend to beat myself up over being indecisive and constantly asking myself “What if?” I’m beginning to learn though that some of my best decisions came from not knowing what to do. A year ago I was working at a job that I hated and working for a boss I hated even more. Several people that cared about me urged me to go back to school. I didn’t know what to do though. I had failed miserable in my first attempt at college as a naïve nineteen year old. I was scared to tackle what I thought to be an impossible task. Not knowing which direction to take, I chose to leave things as they were.

As fate would have it. I was forced out of my old job due to circumstances beyond my control. As I sat in my apartment still in shock, reeling from what I considered to be yet another bad hand of cards that life had dealt me, I began to dwell on past indecisions. The main one being college and wanting to place myself in a better station of life. Why couldn’t I succeed? I poured my heart into my old job, so why couldn’t I do that for school and myself in general?

Slowly my doubts were erased one by one and all of these little things started falling into place for me. Friends encouragement, financial aid coming through despite my past record and mistakes and unemployment being activated for my entire first year of school! This is my chance to better myself and I am seizing the opportunity for all its worth.

I am not trying to say that everything always works out, but here was one of my most indecisive moments in my life. By taking a step back and re-assessing things I was able to see past the confusion and make one of the best decisions I ever could have.